For R’ Zalman by: carol rose

invited to write a poem in honor of
your ninetieth birthday beloved
Zalman, i struggle to write a memorial
piece instead.

I slip deeper into memory, recall that
first glance, an RCMP beaver coat
(complete with hugs) waiting at the
Winnipeg airport to greet us, Shlomo
& a seventeen year old enamored with
your teachings, (mimeographed
sheets) deepTorah translated for
contemporary seekers. always
the translator Zalman, you bring the
children of war-fractured parents,
& folks of different faiths, closer ... &
we, hungry for God, we learn
the old texts (sweetened in
your mouth) a Torah of poetry & song.

I remember that first Shabbos,
your shtreimel, with tails that moved
in a direction of their own, so like you,
the essence Chassidic, the
execution original (“a Picaso”, i can
hear you chuckle), & that
twelve hour bus ride in a snowstorm,
crossing boarders, learning
Kabbalah all night, using an overhead
reading lamp to illustrate
the breaking of vessels, shevirat ha
keylim, studying with you
as Shlomo slept & when you rested,
learning with him, an immigration
officer wondering at our strange
entourage, two rabbis & a young woman.

but there is more, much more,
the Sukkah at the Seminary
on the eve of Aaron Ha Cohen,
a tish in Crown Heights, the
Bobover in blue silky kapota, standing
outside 770, waiting ...
the only woman in line ...

waiting to get
you lekach from the Rebbe,
Simchta Torah, you standing on top of
a car on Eastern Parkway,
leading us in song, chevre dancing in
the streets until dawn.

our wedding & yours, a cheque for our
rent, learning gmilut chesed,
your actions always our greatest
teacher, judaic studies, psychology
of religion, dreaming of connecting
basements (under separate houses
buried in snow) Bnai Or/ Pnai Or, “a
community of left feet” you loved
to call us, Shabbos, always Shabbos,

your table or ours, guests
from the House of Love & Prayer,
chanting Shalom Aleichem to “Hail
Hail the Gang’s All
Here”, Purim at Hillel House ... Esther,
Mordechai
& Haman each with voices of their
own, Pesach in Winnipeg &
Philadelphia,

Elijah’s cup (in its many forms), your
students, our friends, Art & TK, our
children
& yours, breaking the sefer barrier,
birthing new ritual, sweetening the
Psalms,
a new khap, a new insight, dancing
the Sephirotic map, becoming
rainbows,

able to project multifaceted light, a
paradigm shift, gender & identity becoming
more permeable, the universe an
organismic whole, finding ourselves
on the growing edge, developing the
heart muscle, loving & holding space
for each other & the world, learning
to rebbe , discovering the numinous ...
together.