How does raising your family coincide with Kashrut??
Daphne:
I personally do not keep kosher beyond avoiding ham and pork. I have played with the possibility of going vegetarian, kashering silverware and buying new bowls, plates, and cups...even buying meat from the kosher deli that is very walking distance. I go to the kosher deli periodically and they serve a great lunch, but I find keeping kosher so expensive and hard to commit to. Still, I go to conservative shul every Saturday where many members keep vegetarian at home and eat anything out anywhere. My rabbi, however, keeps kosher meat. I hope you are able to decipher the extent to that I am kosher
Josh:
I was raised in a completely kosher home (two sets of dishes, only kosher food allowed in the home, etc) and I raise my children in the same fashion. Living in the NY/NJ area we have access to dozens of kosher restaurants and supermarkets so it is not difficult at all (though you are right, it is quite expensive). That being said, we do eat vegetarian food (which is not kosher) outside the home, especially when traveling or on vacation so we are not 100% kosher.
Having been raised in a kosher home, and now raising my children in a kosher home, we take kashrut for granted and it does not really seem like much of a commitment (basically we don't know any other way).
What made you contemplate keeping kosher?
Daphne:
Well, so, in college I had Kosher friends, including a modern orthodox Jewish boyfriend who would always encourage me to eat the Kosher cafeteria food. At this point I wanted to have a refrigerator full of kosher food and drink in a "Kosher corner." A friend of mine (a New Yorker) said that her father was kosher and her mother was not and they had different and separate dish washers, so initially I thought about keeping Kosher for social reasons. Later, I went to chabad and they were nice people with great tasting Kosher food. So, I know Kosher food can be delicious. After being a free spirit in the Modern Orthodox realm, I landed on Conservative shul, where Kashrut was much more flexible. Now, I am contemplating going vegetarian since that is a doable level of Kashrut for me. But I would like to learn your reasoning behind Kashrut.
Philosophically why do you keep kosher and please explain... because a) that is humane; b) because of tradition; c) due to health; d) structure (or a mix or all of the above)??
Josh:
First and foremost it is because of the tradition. The other three reasons are all there as well but we tend to lose sight of them during the day to day grind (so I guess "structure" would be the closest second as sometimes is just easier to go with what you know and are used to doing). When we do get a chance to reflect on life (and a Friday Night meal does give you such an opportunity), Kashrut helps you remember that what we eat and put into our bodies is important and worth reflection and further thought and not something we should take lightly. Until very recently, most of our ancestors suffered from some form of hunger or malnourishment. Kashrut helps remind me how lucky we are to have such a "bounty" and that we should temper our "consumption". Again this is really just an abstract idea - 99% of the time we just go about our lives - but again Kashrut helps you to "think" about what you are going to eat. Kashrut reminds us that our bodies are special and important (even if all the rules and regulations can drive us crazy and seem somewhat arbitrary at times).
Why the focus on kashrut specifically and not another topic, such as shabbat or holidays (as it seems, Kashrut and shabbat have many similarities in forcing us to take time for reflection and focus on what we are doing)?
Daphne:
Yes, Shabbat and holidays do tend to be simultaneous with Kosher food. For instance, "Kosher for Passover" has its own structure within a structure and Shabbat consists of Kosher challah and wine. I actually enjoy lighting Shabbat candles whenever I can. This makes we wonder if there is Kosher culture in addition to food. If there is a "Kosher Culture" then what is that?? How does Kosher food play a role in our culture?? For non-religious Jews, how is there a culture without measuring Kosher food to be a part of this?? So I am absolutely deciding on whether or not I could be Vegetarian and therefore be on the Conservative level of Kosher. What would you say to encourage that?? I want to buy only vegetarian from now on and use up the meat I have in my house without buying new meat, but I am not for sure.
Josh:
There is definitely a kosher "culture" which for us Ashkenazi Jews revolves around food from our heritage (chicken soup, chulent, kugel, and more recently bagels). All over the country there are "kosher style" delis which do revolve around our culture (if you meant something more spiritual by "culture" then food our grandparents used to make and how those foods make us feel nostalgic then I apologize for my misunderstanding). I think going vegetarian sounds great (and healthy). As I said, when we travel we eat vegetarian (unless we can easily find kosher meat). You can definitely approach kashrut in stages and keeping a vegetarian home would be a doable first step (plus meat/seafood are the only real biblical restrictions to kashrut - everything else stems from that as a way to avoid non-kosher meat).
Are you thinking of going vegetarian because it is easier to keep kosher that way or are you also anti eating meat for moral reasons?
Daphne:
I was not particularly close to any of my grandparents since they were across seas; however, my maternal grandparents kept kosher meat until my mom and her sister left home. My mom always cooked Turkish dishes growing up and made extra special Passover food, but there was nothing Kosher about my upbringing. There still exists an enigma whether I am Ashkenazi or Sephardic. Our common relatives between me and you are definitely Ashkenazi; however my mom's side is mostly Sephardic as revealed through genetic testing. I want to be vegetarian because I do want to limit my foods over all...foods that are alarm foods, I just want to rid myself of as a cleanse of unnecessary grains, processed food, and sugar and artificial sweetener. I also want to give every morsel a thorough thought. Limiting meat seems doable at this point and I want to display an alliance with the Jewish community by being some level of Kashrut. I will start by not buying any new meat. However, I do not see a problem with allowing fish in my diet, or being Pescatarian.
Do you lump together Kosher food with life style?? How do you enjoy your Kosher lifestyle?? What are the pluses and minuses??
Josh:
Sephardic food is even better. I do lump together kosher food with the lifestyle. It dictates so much of what we do and the friends that we have. The pros are the social structures that come with it - including friends for both us and our children through modern orthodox schools, synagogues and camps (keeping kosher is probably the main aspect after Shabbat). There is also the deeper meaning towards what you eat and when and a sense of fulfillment. The cons are that it is hard, expensive and even seems oppressive at times (lots of laws). Fish is fine (and healthy). Despite the cons I enjoy my kosher lifestyle and everything that comes with it. Have you had any of these conversations with the Chabad rabbi? Should be nice to get there perspective.
Daphne:
I spent several years as a graduate student having "Carlebach style dinners" at Chabad House and their Kosher food was delicious. The Chabad rabbi and his wife are nice people and very hospitable. It seems every time I went, I would end up having a long intellectual conversation with someone. Chabad is a great resource to students and I would encourage anyone to attend. I live a conservative Jewish lifestyle in part having to do with their support and positive reinforcement. They made me more Jewish, that is for sure. I wanted to practice on some level because of the modern orthodox presence on campus. I went from 0% observance to 75% observance. I have been going to a conservative shul for the last six years. Before that, I was dabbling in Orthodoxy as a free spirit. I am glad to have landed on the shul that I did, and I also have friends from the shul. I feel comfortable transitioning to vegetarianism for now because this does not take a huge effort. I also made a great friend from Chabad house who now lives in Argentina. We spent a great couple years together and he taught me his ways. Chabad is more of a younger scene, and students can really appreciate that. What a great way to meet other young Jews!! Do you think that the Chabad movement is capable of recruiting more Jews to stay kosher?? Do you think Kosher Jews are influenced by Chabad to be Kosher?? In what ways does Chabad contribute to there being more Jews to follow Kashrut??
Josh:
I think Chabad is great. My wife and I were very active with them in college and they definitely helped Jews grapple with their religious decisions (non-religious Jews to become kosher, religious Jews to stay kosher, etc). They bring a level of care and enthusiasm that is lacking in other parts of the Orthodox world. You seem to focus on the fact that Chabad had good food. There is plenty of amazing kosher food out there today (especially in the NY/NJ area and even better in Israel). There is a whole Instagram world devoted to kosher foodies and there are hundreds of well-trained kosher chefs out there (though I suspect not many in St Louis) so "taste" no longer is an issue when it comes to Kashrut. A part of the reason my family loves going to Israel is the food - it really is amazing. We recently spent Shabbat in a conservative shul and I was very impressed - thought the service was inclusive and far more meaningful then a typical orthodox service. Is that why you have been going to a conservative shul the past few years?
Daphne:
Yes, I find the conservative shul sermons very philosophical and they promote thinking, hence the name of this ezine "The New Jewish Thinker"; we think aloud instead of "knowing"; however, I am sure some conservative Jews purport to "know." This ezine is basically a platform for all things Jewish themed. I think Modern Orthodox rabbis are more animated. And you have to eventually "talk Torah"- not that there is anything wrong with that. My mom is encouraging me to go vegetarian, since that is very little different from what I am already doing. I spoke to my rabbi a couple months ago and he warned me of buying a new set of dishes and he recommended that I buy them cheap at Target. I want to start off by just being vegetarian, as that is the basis of Kashrut without the necessity to cook meat. I welcome eggs and dairy. I will start looking for the UD, and make sure eggs do not have blood spots in them. I am giving up a lot, relatively speaking, but as you said, eating is better when you give some thought to that. Let's wrap this conversation up and publish after you have the last say. How do you predict that the next generation will follow through on Kashrut??
Josh:
Sounds like you are sold on vegetarian, which is great. I will close by saying that it has never been easier for American Jews to keep kosher. There are certainly more kosher restaurants than ever before, thousands of every day grocery items have a kashrut symbol on them (You can buy kosher chicken at whole foods or trader joes), you can get a kosher meal from any airline and dozens of college campuses have kosher meal plans (plus the internet gives us access to kosher chat groups, foodies, recipes, tips on where to find kosher items, etc.) If that doesn't bode well for the future of Kashrut than I don't know what does.